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amanda renee [userpic]

(no subject)

July 3rd, 2006 (03:28 am)
numb

current mood: numb
current song: she wants revenge- these things

i've turned into an insomniac. every night is torture because i can't fall asleep. i watch tv and read to tire my eyes. and my eyes get tired. and then i try to sleep and i just can't. i turn over and back again. my mind races with so many thoughts and i can't get rid of them. i focus on every little sound in the room. joel breathing deeply or snoring, petey running on his wheel, the fan....and i can't let it go. i watch the minutes roll by. before long it's been an hour and a half and i'm still tossing and turning begging and willing to fall into the gentle clutchs of a deep sleep. filled with good dreams. full of hidden messages.
that is why i'm here now. i finished my book Eleanor Rigby, which was very good by the way. and i tossed and turned. listened to joel breathe, and stared at the ceiling for awhile. and i couldn't take it any more. now i'm blankly staring at the computer screen. wishing i could easily cuddle up in bed with my puppy and fall into a wonderful sleep. but i can never do that anymore and it's frustrating. what's wrong with me? i feel like i'm going crazy. my mind is racing like crazy, i can't relaxe, my heart is beating quickly. and joel enters a deep sleep moments after his head hits the pillow.
eventually i must just get so exhausted i just pass out. and i toss and turn through the early morning hours. i am awoken when joel leaves for work at 7:15, and then again at 10 when marilyn is ready to go outside, and then again at noon. it's not until the morning when i can finally fall into a comfortable sleep and then it's time for me to start preparing myself for a new day.
i'm sick of it. i'm tired of not getting any comfortable sleep. ever. it's taking its toll on me. and i don't know what to do.

amanda renee [userpic]

(no subject)

June 29th, 2006 (03:40 pm)
optimistic

current mood: optimistic
current song: coldplay

2 more weeks till flordia. i cannot wait. it's almost here. i'm closing at work again tonight. 4 nights in a row but if i can make good money we should be in the clear for everything we need to pay for. i got my nails done today. they are nice and pretty and red. that's all that's really going on. when i get back from flordia i'm going to be made into a bartender. should be fun to learn but i am kinda nervous. what if i suck? oh well. i've got to go switch the clothes and get ready for work. boring update i know...but it won' be long and i'll fun stuff to tell about. :)

amanda renee [userpic]

(no subject)

June 20th, 2006 (02:06 pm)
blank

current mood: blank

everything=good. work is going ok. i paid my fat cell phone bill so that's out of the way. but right now every day i'm working to make money for specific things. it's kinda starting to stress me out. but in 3 1/2 weeks i'll be leaving for flordia! i can't wait. but until then i've got 6 more bills to pay (7 including joels cell phone), car expenses, food and gas for both of us, hollys birthday, autocross money, and money for stuff we have to buy for the trip. so there's a lot on my plate i have to worry about till then. it'll be worth it though.
that's really about all that's going on sadly enough. i don't have time for anything else b/c i'm working as much as i can to make the money to pay for all the crap listed above. i did see the lake house with my mom sunday night. it was a pretty good movie. a very odd sappy love story.
well i'm off to eat. and take a shower before i have to go work 4-close.
later.

amanda renee [userpic]

Rambling thoughts.

June 14th, 2006 (01:25 am)
exhausted

current mood: exhausted
current song: pink floyds the wall. my fav relaxing music

the one negative part of serving is being on your feet for 8 hours straight. my feet hurt, and my back is killing me from bending over and sweeping carpet with a minature broom. plus you have to deal with a lot of stupid people. today i had a young couple with their very small kid come in and eat a couple of the most expensive things on the menu. their bill....$46.92. and they left me $47.00 on the table. 8 cents tip. wow. what is wrong with people? and they had perfect service. had me running all over the place of course.
and then there's the cool people that make it worthwhile. i had two younger guys come in. they were really polite, used my name as if they already knew me, and were kinda flirty friendly. they spent like $33.00 and left me almost $11.00. now those are the kind of people that keep me serving while i'm in college. I could NEVER do it for the rest of my life.
i managed to leave with $100, which is pretty good, despite the couple low life sucky tippers. thank god for the more numerous good ones.
i was invited to hang out with bryan, chris, jermey and his girlfriend after work. but i came home and i'm just too tired. the people i work with is the second reason why i stay with the job i have. i love working with most of them and i definitely would love hanging out with them. they are funny and make things not so dull. i just couldn't tonight..after closing i'm about to pass out. and i'm not going to lie. i felt a little bad thinking of me hanging out while joel's asleep in my room b/c he has to get up at 7:30 in the morning (they did invite him as well but he has to have his sleep). i'm going to start hanging out with them soon though. i don't feel i get to do enough with any friends. and i miss that terribly. right now they are all older then 21 though. and half the time they go out and i can't. but that will change here in a little over a month :)
well i guess that's about it for now. i just wanted to type what was on my mind to get it out of my head. and that's about all.
tomorrow i'm off (yeah!) and we're supposed to meet the lady we are renting the condo from to pay her and get the keys. other then that i'm not sure what i'll do.
now it's time for sleep. and rest for the aching body.
sorry for the rambling those who actually read all of this. my mind has been flying with thoughts these days. half the time i can't even sleep.
ok seriously i'm done.
Night.

amanda renee [userpic]

(no subject)

June 11th, 2006 (12:49 am)
pleased

current mood: pleased
current song: the age of rockets

i went and saw cars today! that movie is so good! i loved it and i recommend it to everyone. i can't wait to buy it. well everything is going good. excercising and eating better is good. i've been drinking lots of water. work is going ok. i worked last night and made pretty good money. sam and brian davis came to see me. it was good seeing them. i talked to them for a bit and they left me a nice tip :) i told them they could come see me whenever and brian told me he's going to denver, colorado july 31st. i used to live in denver, but that's just crazy he's going there. they invited me to sams bday party tonight (but i didn't get to make it) and a party at brians next weekend. i might stop by and say hi. who knows. i worked tonight and made hardly nothing it was so slow. but i did get off work before dark which was cool. joel has autocross tomorrow but it's at fort knox and it's supposed to rain so i don't think i'm going. i was going to pick up a shift at work but nobody wanted to give one up. so i guess i'll be doing nothing tomorrow. i need to clean my room up, and if it stops raining i need to clean out my car.
well i guess that's about it. i think i'm going to go lay down next to joel for a bit before he falls asleep. he's got to get up early. and then i'll probably read.
night night.

amanda renee [userpic]

(no subject)

June 6th, 2006 (01:18 pm)
content

current mood: content
current song: shiny toy guns

i had some wierd dreams last night. it had to do with people from work. i dunno i can't really recall the details too well but it was wierd.
i've got work today. 5 till close. and hopefully i make some money. last tuesday i made $115. i need money for contacts, fathers day, nail fill-in, cell phone huge bill (i finally have to pay off that new phone i got), and i might be getting some speakers and an amp from a MIT (manager in training) at work. i've got to support me and joel as well. all his money is what is getting put up for flordia. it's easiest that way. last night we counted our change and had $175.50. pretty sweet. it will all go for gas. lol.
Holly's going with us to flordia. it should be fun. as long as steven doesn't act like a butt. and they have enough money.
i've got so much to pay for. money is driving my mind crazy. i can't wait till it's all paid for and we're laying on the beach with all the extra money, not having to worry. it's not too far away.
oh kathleen, if you read this, you don't have to doggie sit anymore. my aunt is going to watch both of the dogs so they can stay together. she lives in oldham county and has lots of space and i have two younger cousins with nothing to do this summer, so it will be good. now we just need to find a hamster sitter. lol. joel's mom can't do it. she's going to texas.
well i guess that's about it. i need to excercise and take a shower. i've got to run to the eye doctor with joel before i go to work. more later i guess.

amanda renee [userpic]

(no subject)

May 30th, 2006 (12:23 pm)
blank

current mood: blank
current song: madonna hung up

it's been awhile since i updated. probably because not much is going on. i've been working. i saw x-men 3. we celebrated mom's birthday. that's about it. this weekend i'm hoping to see some friends i haven't seen in awhile. i miss them. well that's it for now. nothing much else to say.

amanda renee [userpic]

(no subject)

May 15th, 2006 (01:28 pm)
mellow

current mood: mellow
current song: we're all on drugs

2 more months. two more months and i will be leaving for flordia and i will almost be 21. i've been working a lot. that's about it. and reading. right now i'm reading catch-22. it's a pretty good book. this past week i made $340 working 4 days. not too shabby. this week i'm working 6 days.
i need to call and hang out with some of my friends i didn't get to spend much time with because i was busy with school. now i'm so busy with working to make money for florida and bills. i need to call krystal. i haven't seen zach in awhile. he's 10 months now and i'm sure he's gotten big. i need to call amy. i haven't got to really talk to her since the very first fun run autocross. i need to call jen and steve. we haven't seen them in forever and now i'm closing tuesdays so i can't make it to bdubs. and nathan and brianna. that's just a few, there's even more. i miss everyone but it always seems i'm at work at night. and joel goes to bed early because he works 730-300 monday thru friday. oh well i'm going to make an effort. i'm at least off sunday.
well i guess that's about it for now. i need to go take a shower and run to the bank. and i've got work at 5, and visiting joels mom afterwards.

here's a pic of me and marilyn using my new samsung t809 phone camera. : )
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

amanda renee [userpic]

(no subject)

May 8th, 2006 (11:31 am)
content

current mood: content
current song: lawnmowers outside throughout the neighborhood

the weekend was good. friday i worked, and since we only had 10 servers and we were kinda busy, i left with over a hundered. saturday i got up and got ready for my uncles derby party. i had a good time. they have a really nice house, and we just sat on the back porch and watched the races on tv. me and joel also bet a little and the first race i bet on i won $40. so that was awesome. but then i got a really bad headache so joel took me to his house to lay down while he helped his mom put dye in her hair. lol sunday morning i had to work. i made like $60, and then we took some food home. we ran to meijers and came home to watch tv. nothing really exciting but still a good weekend. this week i start closing at work 3 nights a week, so i can make decent money to save up for flordia. along with joels 35 hours a week, we should have plenty of money when we go. i'm looking forward to it so much, and it's getting closer and closer!
me and joel are doing very well. everythings good. i think when we get back from florida, we are going to put money up in savings to finally look for a place of our own. i'm thinking after joel's 21 in january we could get our own apartment. but before we find a place i want us to have a decent savings account. i think since we are both kinda growing up now it will be time to start looking. i'll be almost done with school. i'm still thankful everyday for joel. i love him so much and he makes me so happy. i couldn't ask for anything better. he's wonderful. and i KNOW he feels exactly the same. and that's a good feeling.
well....this week i've got to find my mom something cool for mothers day. i've got to work tonight, tomorrow (close), thursday (close), friday, and saturday(close). that's about all. i'm just enjoying my free time, being outside, reading, and finally getting to relax and not worry about school. it's definitely nice.

amanda renee [userpic]

(no subject)

May 2nd, 2006 (11:46 am)
cheerful

current mood: cheerful
current song: sex and candy

it's been awhile. school is done with. so far i've done pretty well. an A, A+, and a B. Work is going ok, just saving up money for florida. Which is in like 2 and a half months!! and i am so looking forward to it more and more. it's getting closer. i got a new phone that is awesome at life. a samsung t809. it's pretty sweet. well that's about it for now. just being lazy, beginning to enjoy my summer.